CTFishTalk.com: MY LAST TRIP TO COSTCO - Connecticut Humor Section ( CT Humor Section ) - A Community Built for Connecticut Fisherman.

Old Mud · Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 1048 Location: Bath, Maine

MY LAST TRIP TO COSTCO

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow
for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when
a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little
to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting
the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended
up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened
in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and
IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it
works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so i
t works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that
practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food
poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass
and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the
world to think of crazy things to say

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"I was so poor growing up that if I wasn't a BOY I'd have had nothing to play with"

All that truly matters in the end is that you LOVED !!!!

SkeeterRon · Joined: 01 Jun 2007 Posts: 1173 Location: Newington, CT

That's AWESOME..!
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Sleep...Eat...Fish!!!!! Then do it all over again.